How to Set Financial Boundaries with Your College Student (Without the Guilt)
Graduation season is upon us!
If you have a graduate—whether from high school or college—chances are, they’ll be gifted money.
So… how is your kid with money?
Are they mad spenders, super savers, or a decent mix of both?
And importantly:
Have you had the big talk about how you will—or won’t—support them financially as they head to college or enter the “real world”?
Here are 3 simple steps to help you (and your “almost adult”) get clear on financial boundaries:
1. Decide what family support will look like.
If you have a partner, get aligned on a plan. Clarity here is key—for both your kid and your sanity.
Examples of core support:
You’re covering tuition, housing, meal plan, and books.
You’re offering $X in total; anything beyond that (tuition, fees, etc.) is on them.
They’ll need to take out loans for post-high school education.
Examples of spending money support:
No extra spending money—you expect them to use summer savings or work during school.
You’ll match what they save over the summer. (They save $600, you match $600.)
You’ll provide a set monthly amount (like $100); anything else is on them.
One strong recommendation:
Avoid giving them a carte blanche credit card you pay off each month. The DoorDash, Ubers, concerts, bar tabs… they add up fast. (Yes, even if you make millions.)
My litmus test for my kids:
Would they spend it if it were their own money?
2. Clearly communicate the guidelines.
Have a sit-down conversation. (Seriously—don’t wing this one.)
Bonus tip: Print the agreement so it’s in writing.
Because at some point, they will absolutely say, “You never told me that.” (Aargh!)
3. Enforce the guidelines.
This is the hard part.
What happens when they call and beg for money to go to Spain for spring break? (Everyone’s going!)
This is where the magic happens (and parenting happens). These are the lessons.
When they’re saving their own money, they start making smarter choices—like skipping the daily, $6 Starbucks in favor of something an experience or something they really want.
Setting financial boundaries might be new for you—but the good news?
It’s never too late to start.
Watching your kid manage their own money will give them confidence and pride—and set them up for long-term success.
Want more on helping your teen or college student learn to manage money?
Check out the Finances chapter in Not Your Mother’s Advice.
And if your young adult is graduating college and stepping into the real world—stay tuned. More guidance is coming your way on how to help launch them well.
Cheers to you & yours. Xoxo.
Jennifer Lancaster Dana